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Well I think it time he cuts the cord between him and his mom we are all raised by are families that someday we can go out on are own to start are own families. I have always taking care of my mom but It was always understood that I may leave sometime down the road. Apparently you knew his relationship with his mom and somehow might of even known he would possibly go in this direction. If he insist on staying with his mom over you then he will have to make a choice you or his mother. It not a bad thing that he loves his mom but he married you and need to do the right thing for you. You might love him and he's a good father but he creating a bad influence for your duaghter. He showing that he can't give his all to the family he created he can't be there for you when you need him. He can still have his mom outside the home you can find another place for the 3 of you. For all that he is he still made a commitment to you and needs to start fullfilling his side of things. Sounds like his mom is killing the relationship by deciding the directions you both take that is not her decision it you and your husbands. I have a friend and ex love she recently began divorce precedings when she found her husband was cheating she has a 2 year old boy with him. She going through hell over this and it eats her up inside having the similar issues not so much with his mom as the feelings. But she getting through it barely I still love her and would try and help her any way I could. But you may have to make the decision between staying and being miserable or parting the way on good terms. If you chose to leave and he doesn't want to leave his mom for you then he hasn't grown up enough to be married to you. A suggestions is to have a separate account and if you decide to leave him put your money in another personel account. You might even think of a trust fund that he can't touch in your daughters name. If you have family in the area and account in one of your families name if you choose. Its not going to be a happy time in your life but when the smoke clears and you get past the pain you might find a better way. Your still young and have a long way to go take care of you and your daughter and let her be the force that drives you in the right direction.

I COMPLETELY AGREE with Ekikaseven! Start planning to rescue yourself and your daughter as soon as possible. This situation is not going to change - EVER!

Even if you AND hubby leave, mommy dearest will still be there with baby boy tied to her apron strings. She is a bully - nothing more. She will continue this behavior as long as you allow it. 

As for hubby - his is anything but a man. If he were a MAN he would deal with this situation as a MAN and tell mommy to shut the hell up. Instead, like the little boy that he is, he goes running to mommy to kiss his boo-boos and make it all better. He needs to cut the apron strings and start acting like a MAN. HE wants what HE wants, when HE wants it - sounds like a very spoiled little boy to me. 

Do yourself and your daughter a favor - rescue yourselves now. 

Only you can decide for this is a matter of the 'heart'.

With that said, start saving your money & start planning.  If you don't have one already, get you own bank account 'without' his name on it, without him knowing about it.  Have statements sent to a friend's, relative house or a P O Box. Make sure you have your own credit in your own name.

For my dear, it may be just a matter of time that you will get tired of living with such crap!

Good luck.